Read This When You Feel Easily Disposable

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength.”  

-Philippians 4:12-13 NIV

It’s so funny. There are some scriptures I’ve kind of grown up knowing. Being raised in the church, I’d hear people reference scriptures throughout casual conversations pretty frequently. Eventually these scriptures would be ingrained in my head (something I’m very thankful for) even if I didn’t know the exact reference. I’ve always known “I can do all this through Christ who gives me strength” but the first part of that scripture really never stood out to me until these recent years.

The season I feel like I have recently been through is the season of isolation. At first, I thought it was me that was kind of deflecting all of my friends from me. After all, they seemed so eager to ditch me once they found what they believed was better. But it’s always in those seasons, when I feel the loneliest, that I draw nearer to my creator.

It’s like He does it on purpose. He knows exactly how to grab my attention! I couldn’t be more thankful for that today even though initially, going through the emotions of loneliness you’re kind of thinking that it’s all your fault that people find you so easily disposable.

I think one of the biggest drawbacks to feeling lonely is the feeling of starvation for attention from someone, anyone. I felt that all I needed was one person to talk to me, keep me company, keep me from destroying myself inwardly by thinking all of these self-loathing and destructive thoughts because truth-be-told, those were all I had!

I felt powerless to control my own thoughts because I felt that I needed someone else to be there with me, guiding me in my thought process. This very need is what made me realize that God knew exactly what he was doing by isolating me.

I was, without realizing it, depending on others to keep me sane when I needed to be 100% dependant on God to keep me sane.

So I felt like I had to start from the bottom. It had been a while since I tried to really consistently invest my time in the word and really try to hear God’s voice. I started waking up early in the morning to spend the first part of my day with Him. I wanted to be completely and totally dependant on Him as much as I could. Eventually, as time went on and I continued to do this I could just feel God moving in my life in so many ways!

He gave me the power I needed to destroy all of the negative thoughts I had harbored towards myself and about my life. He allowed me to see that happiness isn’t something that you find, rather, it’s something that resides in you. Something you are able to have through any situation that you are in. There is always an Up. Always. No matter how low you are.

Today, I live each day thankful to God for His love. For pulling me out of the chaos and allowing me to be soothed by Him. For showing me wisdom and for directing me in the right direction. For reminding me that I am capable of more than I think, especially with Him in my life.

Am I always happy? No. I am human so it is something I struggle with from time to time, but God gave me wisdom so that the next thing or person that appears to promise “happiness” doesn’t trick me into thinking I need to be dependant on it. I know that I can fully rely on God for any and everything through any and every situation and that fact alone gives me the most top-notch enduring contentment in whatever area I am in, in my life.

To those who feel like no one cares about you, no one values you and your time, or genuinely appreciates you: God is omnipresent. He is literally one prayer away. If you make Him your rock, he surely will never leave you or forsake you. Not like those around you who so easily hi and bye you.

“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”  

Deuteronomy 31:6

 Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock.” 

-Matthew 7:24-25

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4 comments

  1. I love reading this post it was so encouraging. I too have been longing to just spend time with my Father because honestly I miss how close I was to him. I want that back and I want to hear him. I have been taking a break from some things and this was confirmation. Thank you for this post.

    Liked by 1 person

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